


5 times Illya laughed & Napoleon was amazed and the one time Napoleon laughed and Illya was amazed

by Morganaismyqueen



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, M/M, gaby/illya brotp, idk im Bad at smut so it doesnt go too far lol, idk mostly canonish things happening like a person getting shot, some groping a bit at the end?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morganaismyqueen/pseuds/Morganaismyqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Illya thinks is probably what family is supposed to feel like and he finds himself giving Gaby a short hug before she begins briefing them for their newest mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times Illya laughed & Napoleon was amazed and the one time Napoleon laughed and Illya was amazed

**Author's Note:**

> again, from a prompt on tumblr! i think i did a much better job on this one than my last one. Enjoy!  
> kudos/comments are appreciated

1:

Gaby had left the room a few moments ago and now it was just Napoleon and Illya sitting here on the sofa, awaiting her return (she promised to be quick) they had time to kill before they could fly out the next day and the mission was over. Simple reconnaissance mission and so easily and neatly done that Illya kept expecting something awful to happen but Napoleon was simply...going with it. He had no reason to think it might go badly and he had every reason to relax and try to get in some fun times before the next (and likely horrible) mission comes their way.

Gaby came back later to the two men facing away from her and towards the television which was on some british sitcom (she thought) and drinking what appeared to be an entire bottle of scotch rather peacefully as they were lounging, and she dropped her bag loudly at the door

"We're gonna play Never Have I Ever boys!"

Their heads flipped back to her.

"What?" Illya said in that no nonsense voice he always put on

"Excuse me?" Napoleon said, but he appeared to be smirking at it at the very least so she counted it as an agreement

"I thought we could play a game, maybe...I brought the alcohol from my room." She says as a vague sort of bribe

Napoleon shrugs, tossing back his glass of scotch and leaning back into the couch yet again and Illya huffs a small sigh before he shrugs one shoulder and murmurs an ascent to her ridiculous request

The first thing Gaby manages to catch Illya with surprise on is her fourth or fifth one (and just as many drinks later it would seem) and she asks 

"Never have I ever had intimate relations with the same sex" but then Gaby herself takes a shot, perhaps deciding to abandon the civilized rules of the game entirely

Napoleon smirks and takes a shot and they both glance at Illya, who heaves a great sigh and takes his shot as well

The shocked expression on Napoleons face has Illya bursting out into loud drunken laughter faster than even Gaby manages.

2:

Gaby is off on a singular person mission for the first time and Waverly has sent Illya and Napoleon into the field for a simple extraction mission, its in East Berlin (both of them make brief eye contact when told the location for this extraction and nearly smile at each other) and all they need to do is snatch some papers and grab an old scientist on their way out of the country. Not hard, simple job.

Of course it all goes fucking wrong because Napoleon is Napoleon and he ended up seducing a rather dangerous mans daughter who in turn was extremely dangerous herself and now they're both dodging bullets and running down alleyways that are extremely familiar to both of them and in one particular alley that has scratch marks on a higher part of it, Napoleon gets shot. Its a simple flesh wound, only a shoulder. But its going to bleed and hurt like a bitch and its going to take him out of commission for a bit and now its up to Illya and he throws them both into the first window he can fit them both through and they find themselves crouching in the shadows with Napoleons harsh breathing in his ear and Napoleons blood on Illya's hand.

It turns out that this is the same apartment from when Napoleon was getting Gaby out of East Berlin. When he's patching Napoleon up in the bathroom of this seemingly unoccupied apartment, stitching what he can, stopping the bleeding and doing it with such single mindedness that he has to make Napoleon repeat his statement and when he hears "This is the same place I ran when I was trying to get away from you and your superhuman strength." Illya bursts out laughing and only stops when he sees Napoleon smiling at him with a curious expression

3: 

Waverly has them both in his office for some minor offense that in all honesty, was Napoleons fault (and Illya would go to his grave insisting this) and he's really laying into them and when Gaby tries to interject he turns to her with a fury he usually just reserves for them and continues laying right on into her for her lacking of doing her job correctly and that is to handle them and if she cannot handle them, he will find someone who can.

As soon as they get out of the office, Gaby punches Napoleon as hard as she is able right in his ribs and when he makes a breathless sound and tries to shield himself due to his surprise at it all, she kicks the back of his leg and curses in German before sweeping away and when Napoleon looks back up, there is a cackling Illya about two feet from him. Not doing anything to help but laughing until Napoleon is sure there should be tears in his eyes. Its beautiful, Napoleon thinks but would never dare say.

4:

Illya, now he will admit he was the reason this one went wrong. He was supposed to be the one undercover for a rare instance and he was supposed to seduce the mark long enough to get to the room and get the relevant documents that they were reported to have hidden in a safe. It turned out the mark was a rather attractive young man who took an instant shine to Illya and Illya simply calmly rearranged his plans a bit for a man instead of a woman (he had only known a fake name for the mark and none of them had any inkling it was a man, Napoleon had smirked at Illya when it became known) and things are going all smoothly. Illya knows his mission and regardless of anyone else's opinion, he does know how to seduce people, their gender has never been a factor.

But things go wrong when the guy reveals his knows Illya is a spy and he knows what he's probably there for and no, he doesn't intend for this to get in his way in the very least.

Illya has to snap his neck, which sort of retconns every intention of getting out of here without anyone noticing. Oh well.

Napoleon radios him on his ear piece and asks if all has gone smoothly and Illya ignores him, walking over and snatching the documents and relevant things from the desk and table in the room and steps over the now dead man and whispers back to Napoleon (after this pause, he can feel Napoleon getting nervous) 

"Documents are fine. In my hands. I will be in cab in five minutes."

In the cab, he explains everything to Napoleon who shakes his head and is thoroughly disappointed in humanity (or so he claims) and about how someone could expect sex when they told you they were going to kill you afterwards more or less and at Napoleons (possibly legitimate) offense, and the look on his face..Illya just starts laughing in the cab on the way back to their meeting place with Gaby. The entire situation too terrible for him to do much else with.

Napoleons looks at him with amazement and Illya couldn't tell you why

They'll be chased almost entirely through the country for Illya's little slip and Waverly will be sending them to a war torn Vietnam next as punishment.

5:

Illya and Gaby are having a nice chat in Illya and Napoleons office about the new girl, Cheryl who's Waverly's new secretary and how Gaby really likes this girl and Napoleon walks in and makes some comment to the effect of how much Gaby might like this girl and winks at her and Gaby rolls her eyes says "Get your mind out of the gutter." and hops off Illya's desk, where she had been relaxing and wanders out of the office, with a quick peck to Illya's cheek and a see you later.

Napoleon raises his eyebrows at Illya from his own desk and Illya goes back to typing up their latest mission report on his typewriter, ignoring Napoleons pointed look.

Until Napoleons pointed look becomes Napoleons obnoxiously muscled leg propped up on his desk just as Gaby's smooth one was just a moment ago

"Yes, Cowboy?"

"You and Gaby then huh?" Napoleon asks, seemingly thinking this is an appropriate topic of conversation when Illya is trying to write a serious report

"Gaby and I...?" Illya pretends at ignorance, wanting Napoleon to say the damnably annoying things before he snaps at him over it

"You and Gaby are a cute couple, nothing more to say really, Peril." Napoleon claps his shoulder when he slides off the desk and Illya notes the sad tone to his voice, even if just for a second there...

"Gaby and I are not a couple. But your goodwill is appreciated." And Illya calmly goes along with his report for several moments before he looks up and catches Napoleon staring intensely at him across the room, from his spot at their stations printer where he had been doing something, Illya was sure but it would appear not.

Illya laughs, because he isn't sure what else to do with what he has just realized.

Napoleon always has these...odd expressions when Illya is ever more than polite with other men since he revealed he enjoyed the company of men as well, and all this time he had apparently thought Gaby and Illya may have been a couple and Illya has just realized that it's because Napoleon himself likes Illya.

Its....shocking to say the least. So, Illya laughs and laughs and eventually Napoleon shakes his head in amusement and walks back to his own desk and begins his report.

+1:

Its their downtime, and they don't usually spend overly much time with each other when not on mission. Simply because everyone needs their time apart and their missions can run weeks or even months long and alone time is hard to come by. Gaby tells Illya she has a date and she'll see him in a week when their mini vacation is over and Napoleon grabs his arm the moment she's gone (after a quick peck on the cheek to the both of them and a 'have fun' to Illya and a 'please behave yourself' to Napoleon) and drags him into the elevator before Illya can really pull away.

He's just said "What are you doing?" to Napoleon when the elevator makes a jarring movement and a grating sound and Napoleon startling a bit at the same time Illya sighs and hits the door, cursing in Russian.

"Oh, so now we live in a sitcom?" Napoleon half jokingly says when the quiet goes on for about...thirty seconds.

"There is no one in building. We will be here until maintenance comes at 5. Please, be quiet, Solo."

Napoleon is quiet for about two minutes, or that's how long Illya counts using his fathers watch and then Napoleon says "We should play truth or dare." and Illya snorts 

"We are stuck in small metal box. How would that be fun game?"

"We can just do truths then or something, I don't know, Illya but I'm bored."

Illya sighs, a bored Solo is even more annoying than a not bored Solo and he nods "Fine. You start." and thus begins a rather dull game of truth or truth (or twenty questions, whichever name it has its dull)

its on about question 12 that Illya begins to feel annoyed in this small metal box with Solo, if Napoleon hadn't grabbed him into this stupid place he would be at his small apartment on his third glass of vodka and reading a book but no, Solo had to grab him.

"Do you....like someone you work with?" Solo asks and Illya rolls his eyes

"Yes."

"Who?"

"I like Gaby, and sometimes..rarely and not currently. I like you. I also like Waverly as surprising as that is."

Napoleon smiles and says "I didn't mean...look I meant like as in want to have sex with not like as in may like to have coffee with you on Sunday."

Illya finally looks over at Napoleon and his eyebrows draw down "That is not appropriate." and he, himself asks "Have you?"

Napoleon smirks and he says "Of course."

If Solo wants to play this stupid childrens game then so be it.

"Who?" Illya asks, already knowing the answer.

"Well, Gaby is a beauty and Waverly himself? Stunning fox, but I'm more invested in the scary Russian types who could probably rip my arm off without even thinking about it."

Illya doesn't breathe for a second and Napoleon doesn't seem too either and then Illya inches himself over to near where Solo is sitting (and has been for the over half hour they've been here.) 

Solo looks over at him and Illya leans forward a bit and---

The elevator comes back on, the doors open and there is a very tired looking finance worker looking annoyed and a maintenance worker that has obviously been forced to walk up all the stairs to do this.

Illya gets to his feet rather quickly and so does Solo, they both seperate and let the man enter and make pleasant chat until everyone is able to depart and seperate in the parking garage.

Illya automatically goes with Solo, thats what he wanted after all and its not until they get to Solo's hallway, right near his door that Illya grabs his wrist. Upon turning, Solo finds himself neatly pressed into the wall and a looming Russian giant almost on top of him. Illya leans down and they both manage to actually connect this time and slid of their lips on each other is the perfect sensation and Napoleon soon finds himself groaning and Illya is nudging a thigh in between his legs and his mouth is going lower and Napoleon realizes they are still in his hallway and has to pry himself away from Illya just a few inches to actually open the door and stumbles inside, yanking Illya with him.

They sort of fall backwards over the couch because they're so caught up trying to remove clothing and Illya is sucking a bruise in the side of Napoleons throat and that is a wonderful sensation and he's distracted and thus, off they both go and after a moment of confusion on his own part, he looks over at Illya and Illya has the messiest hair (from Napoleon running his hands all in it and over it, he's positive) and his shirt is half unbuttoned and his pants are undone and he looks so debauched and baffled over this stumble its adorable, its like a lost puppy and the second Napoleon thinks that he starts laughing and he ends up laughing so hard, he's holding his stomach and gasping when Illya seems to finally get it together and comes over but instead of making some move to continue what they'd been doing before...he just stares at Napoleon and when Napoleon starts to say something, thats when Illya kisses him but its gentle now not urgent like before and he murmurs "beautiful" under his breath as he runs his hands all over Napoleons largely shirtless chest "You are just beautiful." and Napoleon finds himself blushing a bit and Illya nudges his head upwards so he can nuzzle at his throat.

The following week, when they see Gaby they have spent a large part of it purely in bed and Illya knows Gaby narrows her eyes on the pretty hickeys everyone can just barely see over Napoleons shirt line (and a few on his own) and she smiles.

This Illya thinks is probably what family is supposed to feel like and he finds himself giving Gaby a short hug before she begins briefing them for their newest mission.


End file.
